i was just out taking a walk and some woman slowly stopped her car next to me and she was all like “excuse me” and i was freakin out like oh my god she’s going to kill me or ask for directions or something, my life is over, and she was like “take this” and she handed me a 10 dollar bill and she was like “get yourself a haircut so you can get a job you fucking hippie” i’m laaughing so hard i am a 16 year old girl this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me
the assassination of Julius Caesar
Buying games your computer can’t run
Buying games your computer can sorta run.
english is not my first language and all my life i thought brussel sprouts was the name of some celebrity
everyone is always like “i hate brussel sprouts” and all this time i was here thinking what the fuck did that poor guy do
Isn’t that the guy from Sherlock?
Is it too late to try to be myspace famous
Sometimes I wonder whether I have any real intelligence or if I just have enough random bits of surface knowledge to bullshit my way through most things.
I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they
5 Nights at Freddy’s looks scary
U can tell a lot about a person whose phone camera automatically opens to the front lens.
Like self-confidence; you go u beautiful thang u!